I moved to Arkannsas in mid-August of 2012, and lived there for nine months. During those nine months, I was busy with schol, homework, chores, the occasional sleepover, and rehearsals for the shows I was in. A pretty normal teenage life. Just me and my mom. There was only two issues I had while liiving in Arkansas. The first one was my mom dated two guys that I didn't really like. I don't remember the first guys name. All I remember is that he lives in Flordia, and that he used to be in the army. I didn't like him because he was only a few years older than my friend Raymond, and he wasn't very respectful to my mom, in my opinion. Then there was the second guy, Sean. My mom was all about him. I am sitting here remembeering the way she used to talk about him when they first were dating. She was all lovey dovey and obsessed, which is completly normal for people who are dating. I can't criticize her for that, since I do that too, but to me it was gross. I mean, seriously.... Who wants to see their parents like that? I tried to like Sean, but it seemed to hard, it seemed like he had no respect for my mom at all. You know that feeling you geet when you picture or see a used car salesman, with greasy hair, and the big, cheesy smile, and he acts like he is all that and a bag of chips? Well that is kind of how I feel about Sean. I guess another reason why I didn't like him in the end, was because my mom spent so much money on him, that we ended up losing our storage units back in Chicago. It was all material things, but those material things had memories attatched too them, memories I'm scared of forgetting... Scared of losing. That storage unit had my baby blanket, it had my favorite stuffed gorilla it had old photographs, it had just a lot of old memories...
After Christmas, Sean and my mom broke up, and my mom started dating this new guy named Jason (yes, yes, same name as her ex husband, but trust me he was completely diffrent then Jason #1). Jason had a son, but on here, we are going to call him "H". H is 8 years old, his favorite things in the world are Mario games and Legos. He and I got along great. I considered him my little brother.
Well, shortly after my mom and Jason started dating, the landlord turned off the power and utilities... For a second time. It was frustrating for my mom, mainly because she had been paying rent, but the landlord's office manager kept "losing" the payments. So mom stayed with Jason, and I stayed with Taylor.
Taylor's family is very kind and ery accepting. I think I might have stayed with them for about a month or two on and off. They made me part of the family. I guess I sort of miss that feeling. The feeling of beingg welcomed and wanted. Not that I don't have that with my family, it just feels different... I dont know how else to put it.
The troubles with the landlord got better, but then got worse. Some nights I wasn't sure if I was even going to be able to go home. My mom got depresseed. I got worried. It got to the point where my mom called my father for help... But his excuse for not helping was "I have to pay for my children's daycare. " that really made me angry.... Aren't I technically his child too? Does he even care about my well being? I thiink the only good thing that has come out of that experience, was it got my father to start talking to me. But even that is starting too go down hill now, for all I know I've reached the bottom of that hill.
in late March, Jason broke up with my mom, saying "this is all too fast. ". He and I had an hour long conversaion about it, and one of the things he said to me when I asked him how slow it needed to be, he said "If you pour salt on a snail, just enough to slow it down, but not enough to kill it, that is how slow I need it to be. ". I never understood that...
**Side note: I never saw H again, and I don't think I ever will... **
**Another Side Note: I wish to end this post on a semi-happy note**
In early March, Taylor found out that she was going to finish her 8th grade school year in Budapest, Hungary. She was nervous, sad, and excited all at the same time. I was really happy for her, but I felt like I was losing a piece of myself. I felt like I was loosing yet another person I loved. But I put most of my feelings aside, and Kenzie, Sydney, Ariel, and I planned a fabulous suprise party for our Tay-Tay. We even got to buy new dresses for the occasion.
The day of the party came, and we were all wearing our new dresses. Kennzie wore a black one, Sydney wore a white cotton lace dress, and if I recall correctly, Ariel wore a dresss that was creme colored on the top, and black on the bottom. I wore a peachy orange lace dress... Taylor walked through the door, and the first thing that came out of her mouth was "What are all these people doing in my house?! " It was the best day, that I had had in a long time.
"It seems to me thatt there's so much more to the world than the average eye is allowed to see. I believe if youu look hard there are more wonders in this universe than you could ever have dreamed of. " ~Doctor Who
Thanks for reading!
~Amanda
