Hey ya'll! So I feel like a jerk, because after rereading my last post, I forgot to talk about my friend Hannah.
So to make up for it, I am going to use this post to talk all about Hannah!
Hannah: Hannah is a fierce, strong, intelligent, fiery lady. She always has your back, and isn't afraid to speak her mind when she is around close friends. She is the most stylish hillbilly cowgirl I know, and I miss her dearly.
"We either make ourselves miserable or make ourselves strong. The effort is the same." ~ Unknown
Thanks for reading!
-Amanda
There is a lot going on in my life. Just know that much. I just need to vent and rant. I think this blog will help. I can put my feelings, and my thoughts into words. I warn you now, not everything I write makes complete sense, I'm just hoping that someone, somewhere out in this large world will understand. This is my version of the story of my life. This is what I remember.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Hannah
Sunday, May 26, 2013
Arkansas
Within the first two weeks of Mom and I moving to Arkansas, the power and water shut down. We were water less and powerless for about a week, and it was HORRID! But I got a lot of reading done. During that time, Mom and I shared a room, because we had a roommate named Robert... Now I don't like talking about people badly... most of the time, but this guy.... man, I wish I had never met him, and I am glad that I never have to see him again. When he wasn't working, he was sitting on the living room couch, drinking. Since Mom and I were sharing a room, I didn't have a space to call my own. So when I would talk to friends on the phone, I would go to the living room. One night, I was sitting in the living room talking to Raymond (friend from West Chicago), and Robert was outside, on the front porch drinking, and he came inside. He sat on the couch, and was listening to my conversation, and mocking me. I got to the point where I was so annoyed that I got off the phone, and went to my mom, and she told Robert to leave me alone. He then yelled at her and was also calling her other immature things, then he stormed back outside. I went to bed that night very upset. Later that weekend, we kicked Robert out. I cleaned his disgusting room out, and I moved in. Two days later, I started school at Benton County School of the Arts. My first day was so confusing.... In the early morning, I was trying so hard to find my first class....dance :/ . The principle didn't have time to show me the dance class, before school started, so I was on my own... in a new school... a huge school...on my own.... Scary much? I'm sure a lot of people know what I am talking about. I walked in the gym and found the gym teacher Mr. Nida (who was also my careers teacher), and I asked him what I was supposed to be doing. He pointed to a blond girl, who was mid height, who was wearing all orange and gold. This girls name was Taylor. She looked at my schedule, and was surprised to find out that we had three classes together! At BCSA, there are four buildings on one of the campuses, the elementary building, the middle school building, the gym/dance room/ auditorium, and the music building (which basically was were the choir, the orchestra, and the guitar classes were). From the gym, Taylor and I went back to the middle school building, and we went to her locker, and went back to the gym. We went up a flight of stairs, and there was the dance room! Please note that I was carrying all of the things that were supposed to go in my locker with me this entire time, because I didn't have a locker yet! Dance class was interesting..... I can't go any further into that other than interesting.... but for those of my friends who read my blog, you know exactly how it was/ is with Mrs. Strok. After Dance, Taylor escorted me to my English class taught by Mrs. Cerna. I was then assigned a locker (Hallelujah!). Since I was enrolled to BCSA about three weeks into school, I was extremely lost in the lessons. Even though I was lost in the lessons, I liked English. Next class was Musical Theater. Taylor came to get me from Mrs. Cerna's, and together we went back to our lockers. Turns out that we were two lockers away from each other! We went to the next class. I walked into the class room nervous. I heard so much about Mr. Terrell from Taylor, and he seemed pretty cool. I only hoped that he thought I was cool too. We played this game where we had an imaginary, marble sized ball, that would slowly get bigger as we threw it across the room from one person to another. Our "ball" got so "big" that it eventually exploded and in the room. I think that was the most fun I had my first day. If I go through my entire day, I think everyone will bore, and eventually leave my blog, so I am going to fast forward a class and a half, to lunch. I think that lunch was my least favorite time my first day. I went though the lunch line, got my lunch, and sat down at a table, and ate my lunch, quietly. I made myself invisible. I was also REALLY bored. BCSA was a charter school, it was a really close knit family of students, and for some people who have only ever gone to charter schools, I feel like they don't know just how lucky they are to be going to such great schools, and I feel like they don't realize that in other schools, people are mean (I'm not saying there weren't bully problems at BCSA, but I mean people at public schools can be really mean...), at other schools there isn't a feeling of family. (Does that make sense???). On my first day of school during lunch, I felt like an outsider, and I felt like I wasn't part of the family. I went about my day, doing what my teachers told me, and trying to understand how things worked. The thing that was most confusing, was waiting for parents to pick you up from school. Like I said, BCSA is a charter school, that means no busses to take you home, because there are students coming from all over the place, from other counties even. Pick up and drop off on my first day was new territory. you had to sit with your grade, and listen carefully for your name, then walk to the door, then wait till the teachers told you that you could go. For me it was WEIRD!
Overall, my first day was, well... Different and challenging. Even though it was hectic, It was still a good first day. Within the next couple of weeks, I made a lot of new friends. Taylor became one of my best friends, along with Aaron and Ariel (who are twins), Kenzie, Sydney, and Hannah. I am going to take a few minutes to talk about these best friends of mine, if you don't mind. Aaron: "Fun Sized" ball of energy, who isn't afraid to show off his dance moves, and who always has a come back. (and although he is going to hate me for saying this) He is a good singer and actor. Ariel: Like her brother "Fun Sized", a great dancer, and who is brilliant in pretty much everything she does. She isn't afraid to show off her singing voice. She most definitely isn't afraid to voice her opinions. She is also a sexy beast! (Hopefully she won't mind me saying that...). Ariel and Aaron are my African American siblings who I wish I was truly related to. (Mc)Kenzie: She is awesome, has a good heart, and is always there to led a helping hand when it comes to homework. I am one of the only people she picks up the phone for, because she is great to vent your feelings to. She is an amazing singer and actress. She is, in my opinion (WHICH IS EVERYONE'S OPINON BECAUSE WHAT I SAY IS ABSOULUTLY, POSITIVLY RIGHT ALWAYS!... unless its the answer to a math problem...) is drop dead mother f-ing GEORGEOUS! Sydney: One word to describe Sydney is...Blond. She is very book smart, a talented actress and singer, and a beautiful human being with a dazzling personality. Now you are probably wondering why I called Sydney "blond"... well to say the least, common sense is not her strong point... and she is blond... and she knows that everything I have said about her is completely true. Last but most defiantly not least is Taylor: She is amazing as a human being, and is always putting others first before herself. She does her best at everything, and (even though she thinks it is so not true), she is breath-taking. She is a awesome performer, and has taught me so much about music, that no other music teacher could have pounded into my head.
These people who I have wasted 322 words on, are my true family. I honestly don't know what I would do without them. Without them, I don't know who I would be today if I didn't have them in my life. I miss them all the time, and can't wait to see them again. (you'll know why later.).
"Being a family means you are apart of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life. No matter what." ~ Unknown
I am going to end this post on this happy, and somewhat emotional, note.
Thanks for reading!
~Amanda
Overall, my first day was, well... Different and challenging. Even though it was hectic, It was still a good first day. Within the next couple of weeks, I made a lot of new friends. Taylor became one of my best friends, along with Aaron and Ariel (who are twins), Kenzie, Sydney, and Hannah. I am going to take a few minutes to talk about these best friends of mine, if you don't mind. Aaron: "Fun Sized" ball of energy, who isn't afraid to show off his dance moves, and who always has a come back. (and although he is going to hate me for saying this) He is a good singer and actor. Ariel: Like her brother "Fun Sized", a great dancer, and who is brilliant in pretty much everything she does. She isn't afraid to show off her singing voice. She most definitely isn't afraid to voice her opinions. She is also a sexy beast! (Hopefully she won't mind me saying that...). Ariel and Aaron are my African American siblings who I wish I was truly related to. (Mc)Kenzie: She is awesome, has a good heart, and is always there to led a helping hand when it comes to homework. I am one of the only people she picks up the phone for, because she is great to vent your feelings to. She is an amazing singer and actress. She is, in my opinion (WHICH IS EVERYONE'S OPINON BECAUSE WHAT I SAY IS ABSOULUTLY, POSITIVLY RIGHT ALWAYS!... unless its the answer to a math problem...) is drop dead mother f-ing GEORGEOUS! Sydney: One word to describe Sydney is...Blond. She is very book smart, a talented actress and singer, and a beautiful human being with a dazzling personality. Now you are probably wondering why I called Sydney "blond"... well to say the least, common sense is not her strong point... and she is blond... and she knows that everything I have said about her is completely true. Last but most defiantly not least is Taylor: She is amazing as a human being, and is always putting others first before herself. She does her best at everything, and (even though she thinks it is so not true), she is breath-taking. She is a awesome performer, and has taught me so much about music, that no other music teacher could have pounded into my head.
These people who I have wasted 322 words on, are my true family. I honestly don't know what I would do without them. Without them, I don't know who I would be today if I didn't have them in my life. I miss them all the time, and can't wait to see them again. (you'll know why later.).
"Being a family means you are apart of something very wonderful. It means you will love and be loved for the rest of your life. No matter what." ~ Unknown
I am going to end this post on this happy, and somewhat emotional, note.
Thanks for reading!
~Amanda
Friday, May 24, 2013
Touble
I haven't touched this blog in about two months... and I am finding it harder and harder to write the continuation of my last entry... The more and more I think about it, the harder I is to remember. I'm sorry for not writing so much. I'll try to write what I can remember.
For four years I had a orange Samsung sliding phone. It was a great phone, until all the people I knew had smartphones, then my phone became a looser phone. Anyway, after I moved out with my grandparents, I moved in with my mom, and her boyfriend at the time Jerome. The first couple of days, it was weird, because even though I had stayed there before, I wasn't used to sharing a space with Jerome, but after I got passed all that weirdness, I was happy to live in downtown Chicago.
Now here is where things get hazy for me. I remember how I felt when we lived with Jerome, but I don't remember a whole lot of what happened when we lived with Jerome, I remember major events and the people that were in my life, and I remember how things were when we moved out of Jerome's apartment, but anything in between is foggy. (Which is rather frustrating).
I homeschooled while I was living in Chicago. I did a lot of work, but technically I didn't pass 6th or 7th grade. My studies were mostly in math and language arts. I watched a lot of documentaries for history and science. I remember that my mom and Jerome were trying to get pregnant, but that didn't work out to well. (By the time we moved out my mom had had more than two miscarriages). I remember my 12th birthday. It was probably one of the best birthdays I have ever had. I didn't have a birthday party, instead my mom and I went to Navy Pier. We were searching for rainbow popcorn (which is really yummy!*) but alas, there was no rainbow popcorn. Instead we got cotton candy, and Garrett's Popcorn (also yummy!). I had so much fun. I also remember Christmas of 2011, when I got a Vizio tablet, and a rainbow peace sign watch. I remember planning Chloe, Norah, and Ethan's Birthday bash in 2012. Their birthday party had a three different themes. It was so much fun to plan, I made a business out of it, called Rosie's Party Planning**. I remember how I Jerome's family made me feel like part of the family. And I remember my 13th birthday party
It is really frustrating that I can't remember my past. Especially when I want to remember the good times. I am not eager to relive the bad times, but at the same time I want to understand how those experiences have effected my life, but at the same time I don't want to feel like I have to make stuff up, in order to fill those gaps.
Let's fast forward to last summer. Last summer was fun but busy. The Kids, Mom, and I moved out of Jerome's apartment, and Mom moved down to Arkansas, the kids stayed with Jason, and I moved in with my best friend/sister Alina. Why did I move in with Alina instead of going with my mom? Well, I was doing a local production of HONK! in West Chicago. I loved living with Alina, and I loved doing HONK! I was made part of the family, and I made really good friends. Alina is my rock, and she and I got really close that summer. I don't remember if I have wrote about her in previous posts, but if I did, TOO BAD! I'm going to talk about her, and gloat about her, and how awesome she is!
Alina and I have been friends since the third grade. Even though her parents had started to get a divorce before my parents did, the divorce was still hard on her. I was there for her while she went through that, and she was there for me when Jason and Mom when they went though their divorce. We are crazy together, and we almost always find a way to have fun!
When I was done with HONK, it was time to pack up, and move to Arkansas. We were moving to Arkansas because my mom got a job down there. Alina and I packed up everything I left at her dad's house, then we came back to her mom's house (where the majority of my stuff was), and packed up all of my things, an brought it down to the end of the stairs.
It was hard to pack up for me. I don't remember if I cried, but I know for sure that the insides of me cried. We had fun that summer. Besides doing Honk, I had a awesome birthday party at a pool in West Chicago, and I also had a going away party there. I also went to some programs at the library, where I made some friends too. Overall, I think that was one of the most relaxing summers I have had in the last couple of years.
Alina and I stayed up pretty much all night, watching TV, and reliving a few memories. I remember a few moments where we were playing with zebra duct tape, and at one point Alina had me in a hostage situation. My hands behind my back, and taped together, duct tape on my mouth (which was really painful to get off), and I think Alina even duct taped my ankles together. Good times. It finally got to the point where Alina woke me up, and sent me to bed. She didn't sleep at all that night. We didn't want that summer to end.
My mom came at 5am the next morning. the three of us packed up the car, said our farewells, and mom and I left.
The car ride to Arkansas was 12 hours long. It was exciting! Seeing St. Louis for the first time, going through Joplin. We had to stop multiple times though because stuff on the top of the car started slipping off, and shredding the tarp. By midnight we had arrived in Arkansas, and we unpacked some of the car. I explored the house a little bit. It was a small house. Two bedroom, one bathroom, and a open floor plan that included the living room, kitchen, dinning room, and laundry room. It also had a one car garage. We finally got to bed, after a long day of driving, at 1am.

"The world is a book, and those who don't travel read only a page." ~ Unknown
Thanks for reading!
~Amanda
*Rainbow Popcorn (Right)
**Rosie's Party Planning Website link:
http://amandaonken.wix.com/rosiespartyplanning
For four years I had a orange Samsung sliding phone. It was a great phone, until all the people I knew had smartphones, then my phone became a looser phone. Anyway, after I moved out with my grandparents, I moved in with my mom, and her boyfriend at the time Jerome. The first couple of days, it was weird, because even though I had stayed there before, I wasn't used to sharing a space with Jerome, but after I got passed all that weirdness, I was happy to live in downtown Chicago.
Now here is where things get hazy for me. I remember how I felt when we lived with Jerome, but I don't remember a whole lot of what happened when we lived with Jerome, I remember major events and the people that were in my life, and I remember how things were when we moved out of Jerome's apartment, but anything in between is foggy. (Which is rather frustrating).
I homeschooled while I was living in Chicago. I did a lot of work, but technically I didn't pass 6th or 7th grade. My studies were mostly in math and language arts. I watched a lot of documentaries for history and science. I remember that my mom and Jerome were trying to get pregnant, but that didn't work out to well. (By the time we moved out my mom had had more than two miscarriages). I remember my 12th birthday. It was probably one of the best birthdays I have ever had. I didn't have a birthday party, instead my mom and I went to Navy Pier. We were searching for rainbow popcorn (which is really yummy!*) but alas, there was no rainbow popcorn. Instead we got cotton candy, and Garrett's Popcorn (also yummy!). I had so much fun. I also remember Christmas of 2011, when I got a Vizio tablet, and a rainbow peace sign watch. I remember planning Chloe, Norah, and Ethan's Birthday bash in 2012. Their birthday party had a three different themes. It was so much fun to plan, I made a business out of it, called Rosie's Party Planning**. I remember how I Jerome's family made me feel like part of the family. And I remember my 13th birthday party
It is really frustrating that I can't remember my past. Especially when I want to remember the good times. I am not eager to relive the bad times, but at the same time I want to understand how those experiences have effected my life, but at the same time I don't want to feel like I have to make stuff up, in order to fill those gaps.
Let's fast forward to last summer. Last summer was fun but busy. The Kids, Mom, and I moved out of Jerome's apartment, and Mom moved down to Arkansas, the kids stayed with Jason, and I moved in with my best friend/sister Alina. Why did I move in with Alina instead of going with my mom? Well, I was doing a local production of HONK! in West Chicago. I loved living with Alina, and I loved doing HONK! I was made part of the family, and I made really good friends. Alina is my rock, and she and I got really close that summer. I don't remember if I have wrote about her in previous posts, but if I did, TOO BAD! I'm going to talk about her, and gloat about her, and how awesome she is!
Alina and I have been friends since the third grade. Even though her parents had started to get a divorce before my parents did, the divorce was still hard on her. I was there for her while she went through that, and she was there for me when Jason and Mom when they went though their divorce. We are crazy together, and we almost always find a way to have fun!
When I was done with HONK, it was time to pack up, and move to Arkansas. We were moving to Arkansas because my mom got a job down there. Alina and I packed up everything I left at her dad's house, then we came back to her mom's house (where the majority of my stuff was), and packed up all of my things, an brought it down to the end of the stairs.
It was hard to pack up for me. I don't remember if I cried, but I know for sure that the insides of me cried. We had fun that summer. Besides doing Honk, I had a awesome birthday party at a pool in West Chicago, and I also had a going away party there. I also went to some programs at the library, where I made some friends too. Overall, I think that was one of the most relaxing summers I have had in the last couple of years.
Alina and I stayed up pretty much all night, watching TV, and reliving a few memories. I remember a few moments where we were playing with zebra duct tape, and at one point Alina had me in a hostage situation. My hands behind my back, and taped together, duct tape on my mouth (which was really painful to get off), and I think Alina even duct taped my ankles together. Good times. It finally got to the point where Alina woke me up, and sent me to bed. She didn't sleep at all that night. We didn't want that summer to end.
My mom came at 5am the next morning. the three of us packed up the car, said our farewells, and mom and I left.
The car ride to Arkansas was 12 hours long. It was exciting! Seeing St. Louis for the first time, going through Joplin. We had to stop multiple times though because stuff on the top of the car started slipping off, and shredding the tarp. By midnight we had arrived in Arkansas, and we unpacked some of the car. I explored the house a little bit. It was a small house. Two bedroom, one bathroom, and a open floor plan that included the living room, kitchen, dinning room, and laundry room. It also had a one car garage. We finally got to bed, after a long day of driving, at 1am.

"The world is a book, and those who don't travel read only a page." ~ Unknown
Thanks for reading!
~Amanda
*Rainbow Popcorn (Right)
**Rosie's Party Planning Website link:
http://amandaonken.wix.com/rosiespartyplanning
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